Truly Disappointing

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Yes, I Am a Technology Junkie

so i got up super early today for no reason and went and bought me a new phone. my bastard cat, ness, decided he was gonna chew through my earpiece wire so i needed to replace that. but i decided to get a new phone because as i was paying my verizon bill online i noticed that my free every 2 years was up so i can get a free phone as of a couple days ago. so i dragged my ass to the verizon store and bought myself a fancy new razr. i basically got the razr for free but had to buy the extra pack with the carrier and charger etc. i also got a bluetooth ear thingy. and no i will not be wearing it around in my ear like im fucking uhura from star trek thank you very much. i friggin hate that.

so i spent a while figuring out how to download music ringtones. good times. right now my phone plays the charlies angels theme when it rings. i set it up to play a song from Rent when kt calls and it plays the peoples court theme as a ringback song. ringback is what you hear instead of ringing when you call me. i picked the peoples court cause it fuckin made me laugh every time i listened to it. perhaps its the melodrama of it. when i get a voicemail it plays voices carry by til tuesday. love that song. i was thinking of downloading something from fiddler on the roof for when my jewish friend calls. good fucking times yo! lol!

so yeah i have left the cell phone dark ages now. go me! who knew phones could be so much fun?

A good laugh.....

Ready to laugh out loud? Snort & spit whatever you're drinking? I was surfing tonight (me with no life), and saw this somewhere - I have no idea where. Read it. Guaranteed laughter. Really.
Booty Flies

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Tape Recorders at work?

Seriously, you'd think that whoever wrote this (I got it as an e-mail again today) was at my office. Funny thing? Last time I got it, I forwarded it to my friends at our corporate office, & they just KNEW it was me saying this stuff. And they understood.

SWEARING AT WORK POLICY

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f____ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner, a__hole?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm not on
salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you God?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You For Your Consideration,
Human Resources

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs.

Got this from Mom,Ma'am,Me. You can make your own here.... http://www.warninglabelgenerator.com/
This one's for me:


This one's my "boss":