Truly Disappointing

Saturday, March 18, 2006

sex and celebration

I'm still trying to understand not wanting to talk about sex. The conversation keeps coming up in random places -- I have to admit, I love the subject. Love the act, too, but ..... well, you know what I'm getting at.

Cathy and I are going to celebrate spring on Monday. The equinox is allegedly supposed to happen at 12:26 pm or something. So there will be a picnic. Granted, since it's been snowing for two days now, the picnic will likely be at my kitchen table, not on the deck, and spring is likely to be not in evidence AT ALL, but still, maybe we can entice it to come by eating in its honor?

I went out with DB last night. Things are good. It's all new and fresh and exciting -- I don't know his life history and he doesn't know mine, which gives us lots of fodder for conversations. It's requiring a whole lot of energy not to overthink things right now, though. Grrr. I need to shut my brain off permanently -- it isn't as though I need it at work much, so..... But I wonder where things are going and where I want them to go. Most of me wants things to stay just as they are right now -- but that's impossible. I can't plan it, so I'm trying to let it go. It's working more often than not.

Last comment for the day? I'm completely and totally broke. I so cannot afford to ever get sick. I owe over $500 to the medical institutions in town. Part of that is my fault for thinking I understood something insurance-wise, but mostly? I just cannot afford to get sick ever again. I know I'm supposed to call my doc in another week or two about the last recommended test -- and to get off the drugs I'm on right now, but I can't afford the test. I have to call the hospital and see what kind of payment plan they'll let me work out. I'd rather not have to wipe out savings to pay this off.

Being an adult SUCKS. The freedom? Not always worth the responsibility.

On the flip side, not having to sneak around your parents to have sex? Maybe it is worth it.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Limerick Day

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I have created some limerick "masterpieces".

Oh Kate, she is quite a pisser.
If she leaves, I truly will miss her.
She's mean and she's sassy,
A true Irish lassie.
And really, quite a good kisser.

Here is to Susan the cop.
Her posts can be over the top.
Always tells it like it is.
She will even talk about giz.
And finally got laid by handjob.

(hey- if susan can rhyme soldier and smolder, i can rhyme top, cop and job.)

Daniel has been leveling up his priest.
He plays the game like a beast.
He found new employment
With monetary enjoyment.
He finally posted, at least.

Mark has announced he will wed.
He told us and then off he sped.
He packed hair dye and thong,
Oh wait, that is wrong.
He's gone to Dallas, he said.

Lastly, a limerick for me.
I'm boring as boring can be.
I'm a bit of a twit,
But I have a quick wit.
And now I have to go pee.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Next Phase

Okay, here's a quick one and then I gotta get on top of getting ready to leave. I love dropping bombshells and then running out of the room. With that in mind, I am proud to announce I have proposed marriage to the live-in (hereafter referred to as Holly) and she has accepted. I used to write about how I was waiting for the next phase of my life... it has finally arrived.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Good thing Daniel is back, cuz I'm outta here. Gotta spend two weeks in Big D getting more Cisco-fied than I already am. You kids play nice while I'm gone, y'hear?

Haiku Day

Kt and I had a haiku day yesterday. Here are some of the highlights - Kt's are in italics, mine are not:

I want hot fudge now.
My day is dull and boring.
Or margarita

i have m&ms
you should just entertain me
i have no quarter

you owe me one, then.
m&ms are not hot fudge.
mmmm. PB kisses.....

You need an oven?
I have one; it's not a debt.
My mom is insane.

i have a nuker
my mother is insaner
she fears all lotion

let's change the subject
let's make up a new fun game
mean girl haiku-ing

red shoe lady sucks
she steals my work and I'm bored
plus she's just plain weird.*

charm school is so fake
pretends to be efficient
she is so ditzy*

This one is a two-parter:


what would jesus eat?
who cares? he had no oven
or a pizza hut*

Jesus ate roast goat
He also drank lots of wine
goat is hard to find.

i have peed my pants
this is much more fun than work
too bad, no wages

germans are strange folk
they like their meat in all things
their food is bland, too.

i am part german
does this make me bland also?
i like cheese buttons

cheese buttons? are they
like cheese curds? when fried, they are
like ambrosia. Yum.

I think I'd prefer
fried cheese in my not-diet
want and NEED the fat

i hate my desk, yo
there is nothing new on it
peril of history

*indicates a haiku about co-workers we dislike

Start thinking Kt, I am feeling a limerick day coming on....

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

So, I think I need to schedule a booty call with Cathy...

Rather than post the HTML code, which is kind of ugly, I'll just post results.
I'm 7-Up - most compatible with Diet Coke (Cathy)
I have a hidden sexual talent (as does Cathy)
I passed 8th grade science - 8/8 (2/3 ain't bad)

So, Susan finally went x-rated, hooah, woot, ooh-rah (did I leave any silly military sounds out?) Congrats. Sorry handjob can't seem to get you off, but I'm very happy you at least are still able to get yourself there.

Personally, I think I'd cry if I had a sexual encounter with a woman and she didn't orgasm. But he's a moron for not asking, anyway. Women are hard for me to read, I know when you're having pleasure, you writhe around so wonderfully, but I'll be damned if I can discern a proper orgasm from the simple constant stream of pleasure your lovely sexual organs seem to be able to provide you via marginal stimulation (yes, I'm bitterly jealous of the clitoris and g-spot, hell even y'all's nipples work right). So I always ask at some point, or I just flat out keep going until the woman asks me to stop, or to enter her, or pushes my hand/mouth away so she can curl in the fetal position and gasp for air (that one's my favorite).

Now, that reads like one cocky S.O.B. Nothing could be further from the truth, which is exactly why the female's satisfaction is so important to me.

So, perhaps you need to find another partner, but considering your long delay, just get it on already, whether you get off or not, just to get it over with FFS. :)

Honestly, friends with benefits or not, to quote Shawshank Redemption - "Get busy livin, or get busy dyin" - Damnit woman, just get busy!

Oh, so me, complete MIA. Yeah, you can find me on the Draka "World of Warcraft" Server as a Level 60 Shadow Priest. Time taken to get first character to L60? Only 22.5 days of solid play. This is more than 4 full 24hr days short of most people. Thank you, thank you. I'm kind of okay with the situation. Oh sure, I recognize its a waste of time and life, but its my life and just like Sheryl Crow (WTF Lance Armstrong?) says, "If it makes you happy......"

And while I've been leveling up my priest like mad, I proceeded to get a new job with a much better company making more money. I've managed to increase my yearly salary 38.5% in less than 2 years by applying minimal effort. God Bless America. It really is the land where you get paid most for doing least. Hey, if you can't beat em, (you know the cliché).

slant rhyme /debate

You know how slant rhymes are the words that sort of, but don't really rhyme? There's a better definition out there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to check it out. You get the drift. This is a slant debate.

So here it is; it's one that Susan and I have been having as long as we've known each other (over 10 years):

According to Platonic rules of debate, though, one cannot argue a subject until it has been defined. This whole debate is one of definition.

Relationships. What makes a "romantic (for lack of a better term) relationship" different from a friendship? People (my mother) say you should be friends first, but then also say that a RR is "more than sex." So isn't a significant other a friend with benefits? Is it just intent that makes an SO different than a FwB?


Monday, March 13, 2006

Friends w/Benefits

So Susan has apparently made the leap. I actually have a mixed record sleeping with friends, in terms of keeping the friendship afterward... I have about a 65% success rate. Of the success stories, in a couple of cases I had zero interest in making it into anything more; in others, I could have gone either way. You guys should look to the recent example on your beloved Grey's Anatomy of how NOT to do things. If I were that guy George, there's no apologizing for what she did, no matter how sincere. Only the strongest male egos could recover from such a thing--I know I wouldn't be able to handle it, personally.

Anyway, my advice to you, Susan, is to be prepared for some weird feelings in the future. At some point, one or both of you will get involved with someone else. Don't be surprised if you find yourself feeling a bit jealous in some sense if you find out he's boinking someone else. A man would be jealous, at any rate--I don't know about you women folk are when it comes to sleeping around. When I found out I had partners in common with other men that I knew, that was a weird situation. I wasn't quite as ambivalent about it as I thought I would be. I actually got called out in a group setting with the other guy by the woman we shared in common. The good thing about it is that once I got over that weirdness, I no longer felt jealous about the women in my past, the ones that had moved on to other men. Check your ego at the door, I suppose. As a man, the most important thing to me was good press. I wanted all the women I'd been with to say to other people that I was decent (or better) in bed. I think most of them would agree to that. I wanted that more than I wanted them to say I was a good boyfriend, even. I knew I was doing my job when her best friend would tell me "I'm sick of hearing about you two in bed" :)

Kate, I don't know how you keep ending up in the opposite situation from me, but in my experience, it's the women that don't want to discuss making whoopee. I'm all about talking about sex with my partner, one of my main regrets when I was younger was that I never found a playmate like so many of my other friends. Someone to teach you, someone that you could learn from. Instead, I learned as I went along. Took something different from each person. But a lot of the girls (friends or Fw/B) I knew didn't want to talk about sex, didn't want to seem "dirty" or feel like a slut. I can see where you might run into a lot of guys that think it's weird that a woman actually DOES want to talk about sex, but I certainly hope none of them kept you from doing so.

In other news, looks like Susan grew her hair out a bit. Almost didn't recognize her.

I'm blushing

This is all I care to add to the current discussion:

You have a sexual hidden talent

You have a sexual hidden talent. You might not look it but you are a dynamo in bed. Most of your lovers think that it is from years of practice, but really, you were just born with it.

Take this quiz at

consideration yields partial disclosure

I'm not sure that I want to post the details of my sex life online. I have one -- a sex life -- and I enjoy it. I'm good at it, or at least have received no complaints. I've posted plenty of my theories on sex, which all basically boil down to "It is good. Do it when you feel like doing it."

Things are in the new -- "discoveries and anticipation" -- stage. It's my favourite part.

What I've discovered is that most guys see open discussion (the kind I do in private, out loud, with a lover, not online for the world) of what you like, want, need, etc. as unusual. Do women out there (and men) really not like to talk about sex with the people they are sleeping with? Isn't the discussion part of the fun? You build up to full disclosure, for sure, but do some people just not get there ever? Why would you not want to tell your partner what you want, or what feels good, or what you like or want to try?

Why is it shocking to find a person who speaks her mind?

Sex Panther- The Finale

well handjob came over. it was nice to not feel awkward with someone considering we were both naked. its funny how you can get over those hangups kinda quickly once you get goin, ya know. so yeah, he did some stuff, i did some stuff. he got really close to gettin me there, but alas, no cigar. of course my masturbating numerous times today did not help with him getting the job done. it just takes longer each successive time to get there. oh well. there is some hope of having a semi-normal sexual experience, just next time no pre-touching should occur.

and i think the fact that it went ok has something to do with my personal de-stagmatization of sex. i used to get so worried about whether me doing something sexual made me look like an "easy" girl or whatnot. i dont have those worries so much anymore. least not in this experience. im not quite sure where i lost those worries, but hopefully theyre gone.

but yeah, generally a good experience even though i didnt get the dessert. handjobs my buddy and we're close so its not a big deal. ive never fucked a friend before. its an interesting change. im not sure how to describe it. i guess what it comes down to is its ok. whatever weird or good or whatnot goes down, its ok.

and yeah, the reality is never as good as the fantasy. lol!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sex Panther Update, Part I

so, i just got a call from handjob, i guess thatll be his nickname from now on, and we chatted some. he told me hed been thinking about "licking my pussy" all day today. well thats encouraging. lol! i wondered how i might breach that topic. hey can you go down on me? hey id really like it if you put your mouth on my clit? touchy subject to broach. theres no easy way to ask for cunnillingus. and frankly you gotta put your mouth on my stash for me to suck your cock. girls gotta draw a line in the sand yo.

then i told him that i had already "taken care of business" numerous times today. is there something in the water?! im seriously ready to roll. i broke my personal masturbation record already and he hasnt even come over yet. am i the only one who has tried to see how many times you can cum in one day? handjob said he had never tried it and laughed when i mentioned it. my past record was three. i got bored so i quit at three. today im up to four so far. im seriously possessed. i cant stop thinking about handjob fucking me. wow thats graphically personal. lol!

so yeah he said hes gonna try and come over tonight. should be interesting. though i am worried i overdid things earlier. hopefully my clit will bounce back. im young, it should right?

and kt, thanks for the elexa stash. may come in handy. you do have my sex, i mean!

Hi, My Name is Susan and I'm a Beret-aholic....

so another happenin goin on, and im writing so much tonight because im on a part-time job where im desperately tryin to stay awake, is that i met yet another army boy. and i saw yet another hot beret pic. i think i have a serious beret fetish. do those exist? is there a beret fetish magazine?? is there beret porn???

his name is raiden (pronounced rye-den), though its just a nickname. his real name is carl. yeah, raiden is far sexier than carl. but anyways. he contacted me and i wrote back and then we ended up chatting online tonight some. he enlisted at 17 and i think hes been overseas killing dudes a number of times. cat's seriously veteran-ized yo. he was part of some new spec ops unit that specialized in "asymmetrical warfare." i asked, he wouldnt really explain though i believe its bad. and they had serious sexy all black ninja uniforms...with berets!! yes!!! apparently right now hes an officer, a captain, and he trains guys to do something (probably kill people).

so anyways, he seems pretty cool and we seem to have quite a few similar opinions on things like relationships and sex and such. he said he really liked talking to me and he hadnt talked to anybody for as long as we did in a very long time. and he seems fairly cute in his pics. hes from iowa. farm boy, yum. i dunno, we shall see how it all goes. if nothing else ill meet him. we'll either click or not. but i gotta say the whole military thing is hot for me right now. i dunno if its the uniform or the hyper-masculinity or what but it gets me goin. maybe its just the!

and i gotta say, i feel kinda wack talking about garrett and then talking about handjob boy and now talking about a new army boy, raiden. im really not a ho, i swear! it just appears that way i guess. lol! or could depending on your perspective. im just exploring my options. maybe im just a hypocrite. who knows. we shall see how it all pans out. shall we contact the vegas odds makers now or later?

Unleashing the Sex Panther?

ok i have a question- can you schedule a booty call or is a booty call more of a random spontaneous thing? would it be more of a tryst if its scheduled in advance?

whatever the term we decide on, i think i have a scheduled sexual rendezvous for later tonight. i spoke with my handjob buddy tonight. i mentioned the whole deal about me not getting my rocks off the other night. he said he realized that later and was sorry about it. well thats nice i guess. lol! then he mentioned the astroglide i used which he had never been introduced to before. how that is i have no idea. i figured every adult was pretty conversant in lube but i guess not. he made mention of using it for anal sex...with me. needless to say i asked a few followups on that one. hes apparently curious about anal. me, not so much at this point. i explained to him my policy- you gotta learn how to make me cum without your cock first. once you learn that you can start using your willy. and i said that anal is something you work up to once youve mastered the main hole first. theres a whole progression here yo. you gotta crawl before you ass-fuck somebody, ya know?!

i mean, ive been academically curious about anal. and ive always said id try just about anything once, but anal aint something you rush into especially if youve never done it before, which neither of us have. plus anal involves trust which has to be built. i gotta be comfortable looking into his eyes and sayin stuff like, "i want you to fuck me right now" or "i love how you fuck me with your cock" and other such dirty talk ditties before i can have anybody stick anything in my ass. you know what im sayin?!

but anyways, ive digressed. so yeah hes supposed to call me tomorrow and there may be a booty call or tryst or whatever you wanna call it. i need to prune my shrub something serious. but i digress again. lol! so anyways this friends with benefits deal. its funny, im ok with it, totally. he always gets me so wet (yeah i know thats way more info than anybody probably needed) and he was workin the 'gina the other night before we got sidetracked, so somethings workin there somehow. there just needs to be more communication on both our parts i think. but alas, like i said, no cock action until hes mastered the clit. i think im ready to let my sex panther out of its cage. rrrrrroooooaaarrrrrrgggg!

so am i a total ho? lol! i think im just really randy and me and him just have an attraction. and its cool because theres no expectations of anything else from me or him and there arent gonna be, least on my part. its kinda refreshing to have that realization that you can be attracted to someone but know you cant ever have a successful relationship so theres no inclination to try.

i dunno theres the chance that im hopping clit deep into a big mess. but then again allegedly the fuck buddies system can work if theres boundaries and communication. who knows, maybe ill wuss out and not be cool with it or maybe ill have some fun and thatll be that. ill of course let yall know in excruciating detail. lol! either way, ya cant know till ya try. and lord knows i could stand to be fucked ten ways to sunday. lol! my junks gettin rusty down there...