Truly Disappointing

Friday, February 03, 2006

magically delicious.

Today is D-day for the offspring (Cathy's).

Tomorrow is D-day (do or die day) for Army Boy (Susan's).

I don't know what's up with Daniel. But he's a D so maybe Sunday is his day?

And I won't be here to witness it. And I am The Unconnected (no cell phone). So I will be digging out the trusty calling card for use.

This afternoon, I am off to a Union conference. I've been a union member since 1999 when I was a graduate teaching fellow. AFT local out in Eugene. We're AFT affiliated here, too. I had fantastic health insurance in grad school, which rocked, since I got paid $535 a month after taxes. Student loans cover many things, but not health insurance.

I know that unions get a bad rap in some circles. Any power can be abused. But the corporate power is abused constantly and without the strength of numbers, we have no recourse against it. Our corporations are moving overseas for cheaper labor. America is becoming a service-based economy, which would be great except that that destroys our export market (especially in value-added goods) and leaves us utterly dependent on foreign products.

The globalization of the economy is, as a whole, a good thing -- to a degree. We are all interconnected -- butterfly wings and hurricaines and all of that. But the increasing distance between the consumer and the producer and the source of raw materials IS a problem. Local economies need to be strengthened from the ground up -- the value of the laborer needs to be prized as much as the value of the goods she produces.

I'm off to get vist my stylist. Need less hair with more shape.

Thursday, February 02, 2006


Susan, dude, you know I've got your six on this whole army boy thing. It really doesn't matter if I think it's a good or bad idea. You do what you have to do.

Now, if you ask me to try talking you out of future doings, I got that covered, too. Ask Cathy. I get to chastise her about asshat occasionally. I'm good at it.


And hey, I chased Jenni away. I should post her response, but that's not really fair to her -- not my words. I think she's going to back off though. For the record, world, if you're going to become a stalker, don't stalk the cop.

Last but not least:

Cathy and I have a plan. It has many purposes.

Army boy on probation is supposed to show up and make out with Susan this weekend. Next week, he's going to Minnesota. Minnesota is close to us. If Army Boy on Probation fails to show up for said date, the North Dakota posse is crossing state lines to foolishly attempt to kick his militarily-trained ass. I'm good at verbal abuse. Ask Jenni.

We will also eat some Thai food on this odyssey.

Army boy? You have been warned.

5 Pink Phobias

I guess my e-mails are getting boring, because Kt has sent me to blog. And since I am beyond boring today, she gave me things to blog about.

5 boxes. Supposedly, the boy is moving out tomorrow. As of last night, he had 5 boxes packed. A floor full of dirty clothes. A chair with a few clean clothes and a bunch of hangers. An overflowing garbage can. A box with 6 donuts in it. A bowl with some Chunky Bean and Ham soup in it. And all other kinds of crap all over the floor. Maybe he is just gonna rent a bobcat and scoop it all out. Me, I'm spending the weekend with a doctor and a bald guy. The rug doctor and Mr. Clean.

The Pink Sweater. I have a pink sweater. I love my pink sweater. It is a pale pink and has a hood. It's very comfy. I love it. Okay - really, it does nothing for me. In fact, it probably does less than nothing, because it makes my already flat chest look flatter. But still, I love it and it is comfy. Kt has issues with my sweater.

Knitting Phobias. I'm debating joining the Knitting Olympics. The rules are quite simple. Make something that you find challenging. Cast on during the opening ceremonies of the real olympics and finish the project before the flame is extinguished. 16 days. Something challenging. Panic is already setting in and I haven't even decided whether or not I'm doin' it. My biggest challenge with knitting (and many other things) is just finishing. Something new and only 16 days. I just don't know. I really do enjoy life inside my comfort zone.

Okay - now I can write about other stuff.

In honor of the Dear Jenni letter:

I had a lunch "date" yesterday. Went to lunch with Kt's ex-boyfriend. In spite of the fact that he hurt her, and I really do hate him for that, he and I do get along well and we have remained friends. Yesterday was the first time since the break up that we have really talked to each other outside of e-mail and the office. He and I are about the same age. He is 729 days younger than me. I wasn't allowed to mention Kt, but still did a couple of times. And he brought her up once. It was a nice lunch, it was fun to visit with him and get caught up. And it is always good to have a friend of the opposite sex that you have no desire to get involved with romantically.

I stalked Susan today and found her profile on a dating website. I understand why the military boys are attracted. If you are looking for accountants and professors, take out the 20 pounds of leather whoop-ass comment. Accountants and professors who are into that kind of stuff are on a different site completely..... ha!

Happy Groundhog Day. God Damn groundhog saw his fucking shadow. I think someone should turn him into roadkill.

Norwegian Movies. Kt and I watched a Norwegian movie on Monday night. Elling. It was very good and now we both have an over-whelming desire to learn how to say "with naked chicks" in Norwegian. Anybody that can help us out???

Not so good with the shutting of up

See, I KNOW that I've been told to shut up. But I have to defend my uber-cautious self here just a little bit.

I do NOT roll my eyes.
I do NOT wag fingers.

I do advise caution when it is warranted. It is, in my not-so-humble opinion, warranted right now.

So I will restrain myself to this:

You said that if plans are made, this is it. Last shot, no bullshit excuses, shit or get off the pot. Now steel yourself to follow through with this while you are at the same time getting excited.

You can only have so many second chances. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

That's all.

And Of Course.....The Post-Whiskey-Finger Phone Call

oh yes at the ass cack of dawn (for me at least) which is approx 9:30 am i received the post-whiskey-finger phone call. how funny. garrett apologized for calling me while he was drunk. he said he was embarrased. thats a nice gesture. though i said that as long as he wasnt lying to me he need not apologize. please totally dont apologize to me for being more open even if its in an intoxicated state. so he asked me to rehash the call and i did and he reiterated he was embarrassed and i just laughed.

turns out he really is excited about meeting me and very keen on "making out." fucking hilarious, seriously. i guess it was one of those you had to be there kinda moments. so i made sure to ask again about saturday and the weekend is tentative. i made it clear he needs to just let me know if there need to be scheduling tweaks. im flexible, not a doormat. dont even say it kt. I KNOW!!!

ok, im gonna try to get back to sleep now. yeah right. all sorts of naughty thoughts floating through my head. thats the kiss of death for sleep. but hey, props for the apology phone call.....and in a timely manner. lol! anyways, sleep sleep sleep, need serious sleep.....

Ive Been Whiskey-Fingered.....And I Kinda Liked It

yep, i got whiskey-fingered. and not by whom you might expect. first of all, for all of you who dont know what whiskey-fingering is its when you call somebody after youve been drinking. though in this case it wasnt whiskey it was scotch. props for the expensive booze yo.

yup, february arrives and so doth garrett. apparently garrett had been partaking of a little scotch and decided to finally call me. now, to digress slightly, i usually find it amusing when people get tipsy. its interesting to see how they act when their guards are down some. though sometimes its annoying to be straight when others around you are sloshed. in this case it was interesting from a human observation standpoint.

to set up some background, garrett is fairly quiet on the phone. i usually do most of the talking because thats just me. i always got the impression he was slightly shy maybe or was one of those guys who didnt speak much unless they had something to say which is quite the opposite of me.....i pretty much spew regardless of if i have anything to really say. so with the addition of some spirits garrett hath become mr chats-a-lot. he was very open and chatty and wasnt so whispery. kinda the steve on booze effect, but garrett was never as bad as steve was straight.

so here i am trying to play it cool and not be that girl, you know the whole where the fuck have you been girl. though i did ask and need to follow up on his response. i asked him why he waited 9 days to call me again and he said he was "off in his own world." does this mean the brig? i dunno. i need to ask again when hes not so giddy and goofy. because i do deserve an explaination of some kind. this cant just go by the wayside because it bugged me and it was rather rude. so please no comments here kt about this. i am totally aware. ok?!

so he proceeds to ask me later in the conversation why im talking to him. odd question. i ask him to explain. why wouldnt i talk to him? he called afterall and just hanging up woulda been rude. well garrett is really looking for more info here in a very susan way. he wants to know what i think about him but hes tryin to backdoor it. so anyways, i end up telling him that i enjoy talking to him. and he pulls a susan again and asks why. i explain to him that he seems smart and funny and cute so why wouldnt i wanna talk to him. theres some goofy chatting in between and i then ask him why he wants to talk to me. yeah, real clever, not. so he proceeds to tell me, and i will quote where i can remember.

he said im "very intelligent and clever." interesting choice of words, clever. he says i always seem to be in a good mood when he calls. and he likes the tough cop chick thing. then he says something about me having "the touch." i ask him what he means and he says it means that i seem to be very sincere. ok, weird way to put that. then he says that i "look like a china doll" and he wants to "bite my white ass." yep, the scotch talking. and the ass comment refers to a pic i sent him. i havent decided whether to post it yet. its basically part of my white ass. classy black and white shot, no nasty porno crack shots, ok. and throughout the conversation he'd say "i so wanna make out" and hed say 'out' in that very minne-soh-tah way. it was actually fairly amusing in an odd way. i told him that was the year in iraq talking and he said it wasnt. he said he couldve been with plenty of chicks if hed wanted to but he hadnt. i asked why not and he said that it has to be right, ya know. ok, interesting.

and then he started hinting in a very susan way which i have learned to read and pick up on quickly that he wants to come up to atlanta. hes leaving for minne-soh-tah on the 8th so that means this weekend. so yes theres tentative plans to come up saturday, 2 days away. i asked him if he was worried about meeting me and he said "absolutely not." he said he couldnt wait to get here and give me a big hug and talk and snuggle and talk and spoon. yet again, scotch talking. and he apparently has this thing for "the smell behind a woman's ear." ok, i totally dont get that, but ill play along and clean real good back there and spritz it up some.

he seems very motivated and excited. of course this worries me some. funny how this would worry me of all people. anyways, he eventually asked me about what would happen if things got serious. hes enlisted again for another 4 years and hes going to airborne school at ft bragg in may. he said something like, "what if we meet and it goes well and we want to keep doing that all the time and things progress and im off someplace else and youre there in atlanta?" slightly cart before the horse frankly, but legit discussion topic. so i explained my theory on life and whats important to me and my plans and etc. he dug the vibe i was sendin yo.

the whole topic was kinda weird honestly. though it was interesting to see hed been thinking about it. but why i ask? isnt it slightly early to really think too much about that? and i told him it was a little early to discuss really and it was more cross that bridge when we get to it. but anyways. from garrett's demeanor on the phone it seems that if things do go well at our alleged meet that we could possibly end up in a vegas quickie chapel in the not so distant future. and lets be honest, we all figured thats how itd go down with me anyways, right? i promise plenty of pics. lol!

so yeah. whiskey-fingered. not sure what to completely think about it. im worried hes too enthused. im worried hes too seemingly into me. im worried of course that hes gonna houdini again. im worried theres some deep dark secret hes hiding. lets face it, im worried. ok, maybe paranoid is the more appropriate word. grassy knoll anyone?

and yeah, booze usually loosens tongues, but im still wary. trust hath not been earned yet and im at serious wary. i wanna believe hes really into me, but i dont wanna read anything into anything. i dont wanna set myself up for another plunge to the depths. yes, i know, even speaking to him and agreeing to meet is setting myself up to some extent. but seriously, we all know me and we all know that if i didnt meet him once i would be curious forever. this has to be done. im sorry, but it does. for me.

and yes, sadly, i hate to admit it, theres that excited part cheering inside. god i fucking hate to admit it. i really do because now the strafing fire from kt starts. i know i know i know. and funny enough me and kt just talked about this possibility the other night. wag your fingers, roll your eyes. i know. I KNOW!!!

but i do wanna meet him. i do like talking to him. i am always in a good mood when he calls because talking to him makes me happy. and dammit hes cute, to me hes cute. and he knows how to kill. lol! and he'll be jumping out of airplanes soon. ninja skillz, serious ninja skillz. sacrifice a chicken, gut a cow, pray to jesus h christ himself, make this work out. and isnt that the ironic thing, it probably will work out perfectly but the price will be him being sent all over the world and me having to acquire patience. is this my lesson? patience? and maybe trusting more than i do now? thats what bearclaw says. who knows. but this is it. saturday or bust. no fucking excuses, seriously. plus, how else will we be able to make out if hes not here in person. i reminded him of that. hes on notice yo.

and i am too.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Dear John's Brother, or Dumping by Proxy

Dear Jenni,
I'm Susan's friend Kate. Since you won't stop
incessantly pestering her with messages, I'm
responding for her.

When Susan first started chatting with you, she
thought that you were cute and cool. But you came on
a little strong. After meeting you, Susan realized
that exploring bi-sexuality wasn't for her. When you
go online to date, you don't become friends with too
many of your potential dates -- that's not what you
are seeking in that forum. Maybe that relationship
develops eventually, but usually not. If it does, it
has to happen naturally.

Looking at it from the outside, you come off as
desperate, needy, and high maintenance. If you don't
intended to come off this way, you may want to rethink
your approach in the future. There's a line between
showing interest and becoming obsessive and hence
annoying. You crossed this line and then some.
Constant texting,
IMing, e-mailing, and calling constitutes stalking
when the person
you are attempting to contact has asked you to stop.

You can stop asking "how Susan feels." It's really
none of your
business. Your self-worth should not hinge at all on
the opinions of a person that you met ONCE. I know
that rejection isn't nice, but why on earth do you
feel the need to drag this out? Susan has stated,
nicely, that she is not interested in speaking to you
again. Move on.

I am not intending to be harsh, just as I'm sure you
don't intend to come off the way that you do.

Please just stop contacting Susan.

I Wanna Be Lisa Loeb

ok, i so wanna be lisa loeb it aint even funny. shes goddamn cute as a fucking button yo. and a jew! yes! i had seen commericals about this new show of hers called #1 single and i was curious so i put tivo on the job. i guess the show airs on E! on sundays but replays all the time as is the habit on E!. i watched the first two episodes tonight and you have to watch it. its so cute and funny. its about lisa being single and 37 (37!!!) and looking for that one special man.

shes so funny and has interesting things to say and you watch her go and meet people and go on dates and stuff and i so understand her. and dammit, those brows cant be 100% real, but shes still cute and gosh darn it people like her. seriously, watch it it rocks. its got a little bit for everyone. she has a bad habit of going from one long term relationship to another. and she has a hard time meeting normal cute guys. just like normal girls like us. yeah!

im furiously downloading a bunch of her stuff as i type. why cant i be cute as a button like lisa? shes so my goddess woman now. yum!

and btw, the last 10 minutes of gilmore girls was the best of the entire season. where has the sass been for fucks sake?! and shall we start taking bets on whats rory and huntsberger's news???

SWF ISO A Non-Dick With A Dick

jesus christ, nothing in my life is fucking zen is it? im either one extreme or the other and so are half the people in my life. jenni, the lez, is fucking off her fucking rocker. she keeps sending me emails. i already dear jenni-ed her and politely told her what the deal was and she just keeps wanting to know why and wanting to be my friend. no. i owe you no further explanation. me=hetero. i realize that fully now, thank you. i explained that to you. i was even nice about it. give me props for not just houdini-ing the whole thing ok. so far i have gotten no further emails since this afternoon. i emailed her emails to kt and she emailed me a fabulous response email. did you send it kt? it was great. we seriously need to start a business where we write difficult emails for people who cant do it for themselves. very well crafted, to the point, and said exactly what it needed to. fucking genius letter. props yo. so hopefully my lesbian stalker has been dispatched. only i could have a lesbian stalker. jesus christ.

and for more amusement. we now have marine boy. marine as in semper fi not marine as in aquaman, though i always had a thing for aquaman despite him being a blonde, but i digress. he apparently has a twin brother in the army. heres a pic of both of them in uniform.....

jesus christ, talk about a pick up schtick if i ever saw one, twins in uniform in a bar. thats like criminally genius. but i digress again. so he emailed me on my profile and i responded and i have gotten the official email back. he thinks i am "hot." oh wow, seriously deluded. but anyways. so i will email him and see how it goes. hes cute though im wonderin about the edumacation factor. there were some gramatical errors in the email. perhaps im being too picky. you think it would be weird for me to ask him to put on his dress marine uniform before sex? yeah, i thought so. damn.

so whats this with all the military guys lately. im seriously not figuring this out. theres got to be a message here but im not getting it. i know, oprah, i know, somebodys trying to tell me something, but i havent had the lightbulb moment yet. i mean, we're getting into some serious daddy parallels here now with the whole military thing and the emotionaly distant thing. very uncool. but hey if i can bag a sexy killing machine i aint gonna long as hes not a dick. though apparently he must have a dick, as i have recently learned. i of course will keep eveyone updated. what hasnt happened to me that probably will now???

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

thought o' the day

And I'll preface this with: I am on Drugs, Lots of them, and in A MOOD, so there.

Monday, January 30, 2006

All The Lackluster Glory

ok, here you go, in all the lackluster glory.

army boy 3, loser. came to date wearing his best soccer jersey, which was a little too tight. smart guy, but a huge nerd. sorry, not much fun. will not be pursuing that one.

as for lesbian action, there was none. we went to a gay karaoke bar. we talked. however, i found myself more interested in the cute gay guys there. thats a problem. i think ive realized that i would prefer dating men. i think i had a niggling suspicion about that for a while, but at least i tried. that or shes just not the girl for me. seriously, this chick has been all up in my grill for days now. i dont wanna work that hard yo. shes been texting me incessantly since i got home from the date. stuff like 'i just wanted to tell you i was thinking about you' and 'i dont wanna scare you off but i really like you' and other such in your grill gems. leave me the fuck alone please!!!

i dont need somebody so fucking needy. ive realized that alone time is important to me especially when ive had a hard week and she just doesnt understand what that means. so i just finished writing her a dear jenni email. i basically told her i realized id prefer to be with men. when youre having hot dreams about boys the night after your lesbian date, thats a clue yo. and i coulda gotten some lesbian action because she was interested, but i was just too tired and not really interested enough. sorry, no steamy details. thems the breaks. but if i ever find a great guy i promise there will be enough details to go around.

as for garrett, yeah i think hes gone forever. oh well. i wish i knew what happened there, but alas i dont think an explaination is forthcoming. i really liked him and am having a hard time letting go, but im trying. the more time that passes the better it will be. im sure i narrowly missed a bad situation there so lucky me.

oh where have all the prospects gone??? oh well, i guess i could use a break anyways. ugh, life sucks. now its off to be tortured by my trainer, jeff, and later off to my part-time job. im working so much but wheres the money? i hate how that happens.....


I'm all about the feedback -- giving and getting. That's all I'm saying about this.

About That?

If the kissing chemistry isn't good, there's no hope otherwise, right?
Well, the kissing? Is good.

Cake Update

DISCLAIMER: there will be nothing about Susan's sex life in this post.

My parents stopped by yesterday. Dad saw the cake and asked if someone was having a snack. I said "Someone HAD a snack". Then, the boy bent over and picked up the plate. He put it on the kitchen counter above the dishwasher.

He moves out in 4 days.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

69 and Susan's Virginity?

Well, if you're with a girl who isn't giving enough feedback, 69'ing can be a good way of getting some clues. The worse she does, the better you're doing. I'm not sure if every guy thinks this way or has used it in this fashion.

Interested to know if Susan has lost her lesbian virginity or not...
Or maybe that army guy has taken her hostage?
I'd prefer lesbian action, it would make a better post. Pictures would be fabulous, but certainly not required.

The Medicare stuff is just a complete example of how uninvolved I am with society. Were I more involved, I would not have been so completely overwhelmed by how stupid it is. But essentially, you pay a monthly fee to an insurance company to get drugs at a lower cost, but to get you towards the gap, they tell you that they were charged what you would have paid without insurance, which would indicate they were operating at a loss. I dunno, maybe its something they learned from Enron...

sunday afternoon

Personally, I do find it difficult. The position and the crosswords. I can't concentrate enough on either to do them well. So I'll pass. There are plenty of other ways to spend the time, right?

I invited DB over for dinner tonight. Is cooking dinner for someone a bigger deal or a less big deal than going out? I can't decide on that one. I mean, there is the personal time invested in cooking. But I like to cook and I'm decent at it, so why not? In honor of the Year of the Dog, I'm making a pseudo-Thai chicken stir-fry. It's a Chinese recipe altered to have a Thai kick to it. So, not so much with the Chinese, but whatever.

I'm both excited and nervous. I've cleaned up. I've done laundry (for me, not to show off or anything). I actually did all the dishes. I'm trying to find the right balance between putting in some extra effort and overdoing it, so I have jeans on, but not the weekend jeans, and I have on a shirt I'd never be wearing to just stay home, not that it's fancy, but it fits and normally I'm wearing the huge baggy stuff I still have from college. Some makeup. I have brushed my hair today.

Must stop thinking about it. I have another 2 hours + before he's to show up. And really? I have little to nothing to do -- two loads of laundry to fold and the duvet cover to put back on the bed. Some veggies to chop for the stir-fry. About 30 minutes of work, and over two hours to while away.

I am not a patient person, nor am I all that good at waiting.

I like this guy and therefore he makes me nervous.

To my fellow TDers:
Happy cake anniversary, C. We're all glad that there is something wrong with you.
Daniel, you should post more often. You are funny.
S, we are so waiting for the update. So waiting.

Crossword Puzzle Clues

In the Down clues:

69 Difficult postion

I don't find it difficult. Just sayin'.

Happy Thoughts

Happy Year of the Dog.

Happy Anniversary to the Passive-Aggressive Chocolate Cake.

Happy Birthday to my brother - tomorrow.

Happy me. There really is something wrong with my foot. I'm not imagining it. Happy I went to see my podiatrist. Happy that after just 36 hours of my foot being taped, it already feels better. First time since Dec. 7.

Happy Happy weather. This is the first January in the history of ever that the temperature in Bismarck has not gone below zero. I saw on the news on Friday night that in order for our weather to become average for the month, the temperature would have to drop to -140. Sure glad it isn't going to. 36 today. 43 tomorrow and 39 on Tuesday.

Happy bathing. I can't get my foot wet for a few days. But the lovely Kt brought me some good smelly bath stuff. So I can sorta soak in the tub with my back to the faucet and my foot hanging out. And smell purty.