Truly Disappointing

Saturday, April 15, 2006

me vs. metal

This weekend has oddly been productive. Rather than indulging my typical slothful self in too much sleep and groggily laying on the couch, I've done a majority of the things on the everlasting to-do list. Except for getting Gertie's oil changed, but it's waited nearly a year, so another few days won't make that much of a difference.

But right now, I am taking a break from the epic battle of the garage shelves. I have a huge garage. I think the plan on the property tax website says it's over 700 square feet. But really? Not a lot of storage. So last fall, I bought some of those cheap metal shelves -- just one unit to start with, which I guess was plenty since I've not even put the things together yet. Last weekend, I cleaned the garage and our big "clean up" week is this week -- anything that can be picked up by two men without injury will be hauled away with your regular trash. Cool. I've got my stack of trash ready to go. So I thought that I'd take a break from the costing-money-I-don't-have part of the list and actually put these things together.

Well, you get what you pay for. I bought cheap shelves. They're those stamped metal -- no quality control in production -- "easy assembly" things. Yep. The instructions are five steps long and are only really useful in that they give you an order in which to put the parts together -- you could figure out where everything went with no trouble, but they're 6 or 7 feet tall so a tad bit awkward. These instructions, which are, conveniently, in English that does not appear to have been poorly translated from Japanese, do say that you may have to work with the shelves to get the holes to line up. To be precise, it states, "NOTE: It may be necessary to "press" the post to line up with the holes in a shelf."

Yes, that actually means that you may need to bend the metal so that everything fits. In more than one instance, I have had to use my considerable upper body strength (read: sit on it) to get these stupid holes to line up. I have all the shelves attached. The bracing needs to be added and then all the bolts tightened, but I was frustrated and starting to get angry at the metal and figured that it was better to take a break than work sloppy. All I need are the shelves to just one day come crashing down without warning.

I will prevail eventually. I may be small and weak, but I am stubborn and wiley. Easy assembly my ass.


  • I feel for you. I work for IKEA, and have had my share of building nightmares.

    By Blogger Mark Base, at 4:46 PM  

  • I broke up with a guy 'cause he stormed out when he couldn't get wal-mart shelves together! From IDAHO....he was "going back home to NewMexico". I'm the fight it 'til you get it type like you....a man that can't handle wal-mart shelves will NEVER be able to handle me.

    By Blogger Tug, at 8:01 PM  

  • By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:07 AM  

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