Truly Disappointing

Monday, April 24, 2006

Escape Velocity

well after a slight hiatus im back. thanks for the flowers and the concern. quick update on the last week or so.....

ankle still sprained. out from work until may 10th. thats a good thing. raiden gone. thats also a good thing. im now medicated. still figuring out if thats a good thing. it makes me kinda nauseous sometimes. then again not eating can do that too. im going to a counselor lady. she seems pretty cool. my second session or whatever you wanna call em is tomorrow. we'll see how that goes. i got a letter from the irs the other day. i apparently owe back taxes of about $1800. yeah, not good thing. i also may have lost my last part-time job due to the apt complex being sold to a new management group. no extra money is not a good thing either. seems like everythings goin to hell in a handbasket lately. thems the breaks i guess.

i baked cookies last night. i fucked em up though. i thought i had bought skor pieces but it turns out i bought heath pieces instead. heaths got nuts. skor cookies rock btw, you should really try them. i didnt realize i didnt have skor pieces until id already dumped in the heath pieces. doh. i just put in a bag of choco chips to even it out. i havent tried em yet. i only made a dozen. the rest of the dough is in the fridge.

well my trash was finally taken out. i went out with my friend amy and her kids to the mall. i paid them $10 each to take my trash out. it seriously rocked. little fuckers will do anything for cash. gotta love it. it did really help me out though and they were more than happy to do it. it was a win-win kinda thing.

my dad called me yesterday. that was kinda out of the blue. he doesnt generally call. ever. really. hes in full support of the susan moving back to pensacola idea. he thinks i should just go and move home and have free room and board and go to school for psychology. i told him i hadnt applied to the university in pensacola so i sorta missed the boat on that one. he offered to send money. typical dad move. i can use it though. i dunno, maybe i shoulda applied there. oh well. i just got an email that i got accepted into the masters program at florida atlantic. they didnt mention money though. we shall see.

right now i need to find another job. money coming in is a good thing. and getting out of this soul sucking police dept is also a very good thing. its just hard to reach escape velocity. right now im just so tired and its so easy to just lay about. its easy to not do anything regardless of the consequences. i printed out some applications. now i just need to fill them out. how do i get the friggin motivation? ugh. i gotta find some way to get up and going. i need to talk to my shrink lady about this. maybe its the fear of failure and rejection. maybe im just chronically lazy. do they have a pill for that? at least i bathed today and ate some soup. thats something i guess.

man i am sooooo tired. shit.....

4 Comments:

  • Welcome back. We've missed you - lots!

    By Blogger Cooth, at 3:10 PM  

  • ditto.

    By Blogger Tug, at 3:37 PM  

  • Well, I didn't miss you much, but the phone thing made up for the lack of blogging.

    You want out. Do you want out badly enough to fill out the applications?

    Personally, it would take an utter catastrophe for me to move back in with my mother. I love her and we get along but I would see it as a failure, so I won't ever do it. You HATE living with your father and sister. Just keep that in mind.

    By Blogger kT, at 4:08 PM  

  • I agree. I'm at the point that filling out the online applications (even with resume' because they REQUIRE it) is a pain in the ass I'm willing to deal with. So I'm doing it. BITCHING all the while, but doing it. And moving in with my parents? I'd live out of my car first, & I love my parents. truly.

    By Blogger Tug, at 4:17 PM  

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