Truly Disappointing

Monday, March 27, 2006

She's Got A Good Personality.....

so, when somebody says they are attracted to you and says that they think you are smart and funny and fun to hang out with does that mean i am now the girl with the "good personality?" yes, having a good personality is a good thing in this day and age of plastic people, dont get me wrong, but everyone knows that when a girl is said to "have a good personality" that means she isnt very pretty. or at least thats what it seems to be.

i dunno, perhaps im just being overly sensitive and just plain wacko lately, but im feeling kinda miffed. i mean, doesnt every girl want a dude to say shes pretty or something like that along with those other things? when somebody tells me im smart and funny and fun to hang out with i feel like im their buddy or something. yeah shes cool and laid back and knows a thing or two about throwing a good spiral, pass the spinach dip..... seriously yo.

i dunno, there was a whole comment the other night by raiden about how the other guys he knows date or are married to such simpletons who are pretty but nothing else. when a guy goes for depth or substance over superficialism does that mean he is compromising on beauty? does a guy think, wow i want a chick who is smart and has a personality, im ok with skimping on the beauty part? is that how the equation works? please i seriously wanna know.....

i dunno, perhaps the few chapters of Good in Bed that ive read have sunk into my brain. basically the book starts out with the main character, a "zoftig" gal, reading a magazine article her ex-boyfriend wrote about loving a larger woman, her. from what ive read so far the ex loved the woman for all of those personality traits like good sense of humor, etc, and he "dealt" with her being large. im sorry but that seems so horrible. its almost like pity. is it like loving a dude with no legs or something and "dealing" with him having no legs and being weird. would you want to be loved by a person like that? i dunno, it just seems offensive somehow and i cant quite describe it.

i dont want somebody to feel like they are burdened by "dealing" with some portion of me. its not like im a retarded baby somebody just spit out and now they have to "deal" with it, ya know. i want somebody who loves me for me, all of me, perfect or mostly imperfect. i dont want somebody to feel like they have to make excuses or apologies for me or something like that. ugh, i dunno.....

raiden said he regretted not kissing me the other night. im not quite sure what that means. im not quite sure what he thinks really. and even if he told me would i believe it? ah thats the 100,000 pyramid question yo. the category is susan- someone who cant trust.....someone who finds it hard to open up to people.....someone who doesnt want to get fucked over again.....someone who continues to struggle with herself.....someone who cant take things at face value..... (and i realize that anyone not familiar with 100,000 pyramid may find that last section a little the reruns on gameshow network, yo).

so yeah, im miffed about everything right now. just in a miffy mood i guess. maybe im pre-menstrual. i do have a tendency to get all pissy and cry-y about nothing during this period...pardon the pun. whatever. im going to hit the treadmill in what may be a failed effort to stop feeling so shitty about my pre-zoftig condition. im on the road to serious zoftig and im not cool with that. ugh. i hate feeling sausage-y. i aint jimmy dean yo. so anyways.....


  • The whole point of the article Good In Bed was that the narrator's ex-boyfriend got sick of dealing with the fact that SHE had issues with herself. I honestly think that men don't notice the things we hate about ourselves until we point them out.

    Chill out. Step back. He wanted to kiss you, he wants to see you again. Stop analyzing why. You don't know him, you can't know his motivations yet.

    IMO, a guy looking for personality over looks is looking FIRST for someone he has a mental connection with. That's what I'm looking for. It doesn't mean I'm "compromising" on looks. I know I'm not going to date a guy who looks like Sayid from LOST or Rupert Everett. I can still enjoy looking at them. But getting to know someone can make them sexier -- or much less attractive, depending on the person.

    By Blogger kT, at 11:53 AM  


    A good read, if you can stomach the usual opininated zealots.

    By Anonymous pinky, at 4:04 PM  

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