Truly Disappointing

Monday, March 13, 2006

Friends w/Benefits

So Susan has apparently made the leap. I actually have a mixed record sleeping with friends, in terms of keeping the friendship afterward... I have about a 65% success rate. Of the success stories, in a couple of cases I had zero interest in making it into anything more; in others, I could have gone either way. You guys should look to the recent example on your beloved Grey's Anatomy of how NOT to do things. If I were that guy George, there's no apologizing for what she did, no matter how sincere. Only the strongest male egos could recover from such a thing--I know I wouldn't be able to handle it, personally.

Anyway, my advice to you, Susan, is to be prepared for some weird feelings in the future. At some point, one or both of you will get involved with someone else. Don't be surprised if you find yourself feeling a bit jealous in some sense if you find out he's boinking someone else. A man would be jealous, at any rate--I don't know about you women folk are when it comes to sleeping around. When I found out I had partners in common with other men that I knew, that was a weird situation. I wasn't quite as ambivalent about it as I thought I would be. I actually got called out in a group setting with the other guy by the woman we shared in common. The good thing about it is that once I got over that weirdness, I no longer felt jealous about the women in my past, the ones that had moved on to other men. Check your ego at the door, I suppose. As a man, the most important thing to me was good press. I wanted all the women I'd been with to say to other people that I was decent (or better) in bed. I think most of them would agree to that. I wanted that more than I wanted them to say I was a good boyfriend, even. I knew I was doing my job when her best friend would tell me "I'm sick of hearing about you two in bed" :)

Kate, I don't know how you keep ending up in the opposite situation from me, but in my experience, it's the women that don't want to discuss making whoopee. I'm all about talking about sex with my partner, one of my main regrets when I was younger was that I never found a playmate like so many of my other friends. Someone to teach you, someone that you could learn from. Instead, I learned as I went along. Took something different from each person. But a lot of the girls (friends or Fw/B) I knew didn't want to talk about sex, didn't want to seem "dirty" or feel like a slut. I can see where you might run into a lot of guys that think it's weird that a woman actually DOES want to talk about sex, but I certainly hope none of them kept you from doing so.

In other news, looks like Susan grew her hair out a bit. Almost didn't recognize her.

4 Comments:

  • Nah. I'm not a slut. I know that and am secure in it. If you want to get naked with me, we're going to talk, too, so it's all cool. I talk too much -- I can't date someone with whom I don't feel comfortable talking about sex. That's just me.

    I have had very bad luck with FwB. Either there is dating potential or there isn't, for me. You can choose not to engage the dating potential, but sometimes it doesn't work out.

    By Blogger kT, at 5:34 PM  

  • i hears ya about the jealously thing although i think it was kinda there on both our parts before we got busy in bed so the sex isnt gonna make it better or worse. nah, i think me and him are straight yo.

    as for earlier, im in no way putting out the single and easy light or however you put it. it just feels weird to be discussing like 3 different guys at the same time, one of whom i boinked. thats all. im single but i am in no way easy in any sense of the word. lol!

    and as for chicks talking about sex, i actually find that guys dig it when i can talk about sex and not be weird. guys seem to dig it when chicks are just laid back and throw stuff out there. least in my experience with the dudes ive met here and there. but yeah, you gotta tell somebody whats what in bed. and funny enough, after sex, me and handjob actually had a great open conversation, one of the most open ones we'd had. it was nice. if we could communicate like that all the time and a few things were different on his end then i wouldnt hesitate to try dating him. but anyways.

    raiden keeps calling. we shall see how that goes. motivation is good. and the beret doesnt hurt either. lol!

    oh and yes i have been growing my hair out. its actually much longer than in the pic too. i need a slight haircut.

    By Blogger Susan, at 1:49 AM  

  • I truly do not want to know what you mean by "different on his end." I hope it's not what I'm thinking.

    Guys do seem to dig chicks talking about sex. But they also seem highly surprised by it, which to me says that it's much more rare than I'd think it should be.

    And for the record, conversations held when in somewhat compromising positions (i.e. naked and entangled) are usually some of the best.

    By Blogger kT, at 10:08 AM  

  • Oh, and P? You're totally right about Grey's. What Meredith did to George? Unforgivable and I'm glad he grew a spine and left. You don't use your friends. FwB is different. I don't much like her.

    By Blogger kT, at 10:11 AM  

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