Truly Disappointing

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Why yes, I WAS visitor 007 to the blog...

The new Bond is from Munich I hear...Something about that doesn't sit right. Unless there's a Munich in GB somewhere.

I find it funny that Susan has performance anxiety with regards to sex. There is a very short list of things a woman can do wrong in bed, and a full 90% of them is insulting the size of a man's genitals - which encourages his own performance anxiety. Of course, if you're only gonna socialize with boys in war zones, sex isn't much of an issue, is it? Oh wait, I keep forgetting about webcams...

But yes, your long hiatus from intercourse will naturally surprise men and maybe hurt our collective feelings - are we not worthy? There are medical reasons for men to feel anxiety over a lack of copulation: Click here or go read Sperm Wars, by Robin Baker - which the link cites as source. So Susan, those guys are reacting perfectly normal per their psychology. And you just thought we were horn dogs...

And now, a moment of silence for the lost Mini Cooper...

With regards to knowing yourself and intercourse, I have a question. How well do you communicate to your partners? Most women I talk to about the subject don't convey much to their lovers initially. They just hope things will go their way I guess. Perhaps this is some strange compatibility test? Or do guys keep pulling out car batteries and jumper cables on you? Hey, it could happen. I saw it on a "Family Guy" DVD just the other day.

And in the future, proofread your letters of recommendation. Its not like cheating on a test, its a necessary cover-your-ass move. A move that is something I would imagine someone working in the public sector should be quite well-practiced at. Remember, nobody cares as much about you as you do.

Okay, this is getting long and I promised myself I would be concise.

KT - check out Embrace's song "Ashes" - it's my personal anthem for 2006. Rise, friend, rise.
Sad, when we were kids playing the game of "life", you just magically acquired a little pink or blue statuette to live happily ever after with.
It's a real bitch that in the real game of life it requires a near constant rolling of the dice to find 'em, idn'it?

Alright, now that I've done that whole macho, swoop-in-and-offer-tough-love-solutions-to-everybody's-problems act (incredibly self-confident for a guy with such self esteem issues); I'm going to take my fat ass downstairs and work on my own. ; )

Oh, and I'd like to give a shout out to the Social Security Administration for making my life hell as my mother turns 65 and can't understand their @#(*$&)'ing paperwork and programs.

,.|.. (.\ /.) ..|.,

<3 ASCII art.
Daniel.

2 Comments:

  • Contact your local senior citizen center. Without them, I would have just killed my mother rather than deal with the paperwork. I swear. They rock.

    By Blogger kT, at 5:26 PM  

  • Well, thanks, but I'm on Part D of Medicare now, so it's a tad late in the game.

    Kill her...why didn't I think of that before?

    By Blogger Daniel, at 10:09 PM  

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