Truly Disappointing

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Very Bad Post About Relationships as Gambling

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

-Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

oh kenny, you so wise. relationships, lot like gamblin arent they. so when do you go all in and when do you fold and walk away? i have no fucking idea. so far i dont think theyve written a song with that particular answer yet. oh wait, they have..."gamble everything for love and you'll be alright..."- ben lee. good song.

regarding the chocolate cake, since its past time for being able to happily eat it, throw it out. take a breath and exhale. let him go. thats the whole disney circle of life and shit. kids gotta go out and either sink or swim. and every kid goes through a phase of hating his or her mom and dad. as they grow they usually realize theyve been shits and realize that their parents cared. they wont always admit that (i still havent) but they feel it. and sometimes kids just act like rotten fuckers because. theres no rhyme or reason. you can love a kid to death and he can become a serial killer or you can abuse him and hate him and he wins a nobel prize. its a crap shoot if you will.

cathy dont beat yourself up about your kid. you did great just by not breaking him when he was little. thats my standard if i ever have kids, did i break em? no? ok, great, i did good. the biggest thing ive learned in recent years is that you cannot control other people. and sometimes you can barely control yourself. all that can be expected is doing ones best and frankly a lot of times we just dont hit that mark. im sure youve done more than your best with your kid. thats what parents do, ok, well most decent parents that is. let the little birdie fly away. rejoice in you having gotten him to that point. you didnt break him! kudos to you!

and yes kt, fucking go after the dino-boy. youll never know if hes the one to bet it all for if you dont even dare to look. and i know you doubt if that kind of person exists, the all-in guy, but he might. id rather go forth and blunder than to sit and wonder. and so far it seems like this dino-guy is cool and youre having a good time on the hunt. and nothing clears a person's head of prior shitty boys than a fresh new good one.

and no i dont know when to hold em and when to fold em. i think thats a sliding scale depending on the hand dealt. i guess i would say keep on playing until things start looking bad. unless youre the amazing kreskin, you cant predict what cards will come up on the next deal and youll never know unless you sidle up to the table.

as for me and garrett, who knows. we chatted online after the blow-off telephone conversation. i do believe hes legitimately sorry. and the sense i got was that it was a cashflow issue. he spent $500 getting his buddy out and thats a lot to a guy who gets paid like $15,000 a year. i just think he didnt want to directly admit it because its a guy pride thing. heaven forbid a girl pays for a guy even in 2006, but thats still how it is a lot of the time. though i do have to say i wonder if the shine has rubbed off the apple some. has the initial tingly left the building elvis style?

i like garrett. i find him attractive and he seems fairly sensitive and educated. he is quiet though and quiet guys do drive me nutz sometimes. he listens more than speaks and being a big speaker myself i sometimes get wary of that kind. there are times during what seem to be our regular multiple hour phone conversations where we run out of topics to discuss. and i feel like i talk twice as much or more than he does. perhaps its just a different personality style, but it makes me wonder. is it supposed to just click all the time or are there hitches. ok, ok, theres hitches, stupid question.

i dunno, i wonder if the blow-off has soured things on either side of the situation. we've spoken briefly on the phone since, though there was no phone call this evening which is unusual. and we exchanged more photos. im not sure how to describe the photos and i dont know why they came about but lets just say that theyre artsy body shots that suggest but dont explicitly show anything. mine are actually quite good i think and i did them one handed. but i digress. so i dunno. im not sure what the deal is and where things stand. and all because there was no phone call. and part of me wonders if i really even care.

so, do you hold em or fold em? i think sometimes, most of the times, we hold in our hands very mediocre cards, no aces, no big face cards, but nothing too shitty. and sometimes we can trade cards out and work on a good winning hand, but sometimes, most of the times, we just gotta deal with average and hope we get lucky. maybe the key question really is, do we even buy into the game at all? and i think the answer is yes. how can we not? im too curious to miss what could be a winning hand. after all even though the odds are generally in the house's favor, people do get lucky, they get fucking lucky all the time. and all i can think is that if you play long enough lady luck will shine down upon you.

no whammies, no whammies, no whammies, stop.....

1 Comments:

  • Are you guys watching How I Met Your Mother on CBS? I can't believe I'm recommending such a show, especially considering I'm a guy. But I gotta admit, it hits on those general truths about single life and relationships. Plus, it's got Doogie as the super bachelor. Great stuff. Anyway, it's too late now, but my suggestion is to prepare yourself for the worst. I once drove from Tampa to DC to meet an online chick, only to discover her pictures were a little--shall we say--outdated... so attraction was gone within the first 5 seconds after a month of chatting online. It only got worse from there. But I chalked it up as a learning experience, and I can't honestly say I regret doing it. Bottom line, try not to get worked up over every little potential. Many, many fish in the sea. 'Tis true.

    By Anonymous Pinky, at 4:01 PM  

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